This has been a very trying week for me. It has also been stressful for A's teacher. Yesterday was the worst day so far. I thought he just needed some time to adjust to going to school. Although he went to preschool last year for 5 days a week, they were only half days. This year, A is in Kindergarten and he has had to make some very big adjustments. Not only does he go to school all day, he also rides the bus. And because he goes to the magnet school, which is not in our zone, he has to ride that bus for about an hour in the afternoon. He is the last to be picked up in the morning and the last to be dropped off in the afternoon.
Yesterday, I received a note from A's teacher that he made it to about 10 am before he basically just shut down and couldn't get control of himself. He's being disrespectful, not listening, and generally misbehaving in nearly every situation. He even said a curse word in class, which upset a lot of the other children, naturally. And when he realized this upset them, A continued saying it over and over again.
This is not how my child behaves at home, with me. He is, however, defiant with his father. But with me, he behaves pretty well. The most he has ever done with me is throw a small tantrum when I tell him to do something that he doesn't want to do. But that's normal, right? As a former teacher, I have experienced MUCH worse. For the most part, my son listens to me. He does what I tell him to do. Not so much with his dad. My husband has a lot more trouble with getting A to listen and follow directions, but not as much as his teacher lately.
My child is loving and sweet. He gives hugs and kisses freely. He tells me and his dad that he loves us every single day, multiple times a day. He is a happy child. He doesn't have trouble making friends. As a matter of fact, 3 of his friends from preschool also go to the magnet school with him. A's friends are all in the other Kindergarten class though, and so he has made other friends in his class. The other kids seem to gravitate towards A. Last night was Back to School Night and while we were visiting A's class, one of the moms told me that her son comes home talking about his friend A all the time. My kid is a very likable kid.
So, I don't understand why A is misbehaving at school so much. I have read articles about ADHD, wondering if this might be the issue, but I don't think so. He doesn't seem to have any issues concentrating on his work. His problem seems to be in transitioning between assignments, sitting still and listening to the teacher during certain activities, and socializing. He socializes too much. He gets that trait from his dad because I was not like that in school.
For the cursing, which I found out this morning he also did on the bus yesterday afternoon (there was a sub), he has been grounded for the weekend. No TV, no video games, and no computer games. I use time out for immediate discipline at home and grounding for long term discipline when behavior is really bad (as in what happened yesterday at school). But what else can I do?
No, there are no serious problems at home. My husband and I love each other very much and get along just fine. Yes, we don't always agree and may argue about something, but we don't fight. No yelling matches or name-calling, or anything like that. Our home life is pretty healthy. I grew up in a dysfunctional household with parents that fought. So I can assure you, it is not volatile in our house. So he isn't acting out due to stress at home. There must be another reason for his behavior. I just don't know what it is or how to find out.
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